The Illusion of Perfection

-by Hrishita Himalika

“A Beautiful Thing is Never Perfect”. This quote is very apt for everyone who lives in this world. This chaotic, competitive world has made us oblivious to everyone around us, not to mention “ourselves”. Sometimes, we hold ourselves and perhaps others to impossibly high standards. Sometimes we punish ourselves when we commit even a small error. We often struggle to unwind and engage in fun activities. We put off trying new things out of fear of making a fool of ourselves. The question is: WHY?

Now here’s where the whole idea of “perfection” fits in. Many of us pick up the idea that we must be flawless as children – that we must look a certain way, act a certain way, and fulfil other people’s expectations – even at the expense of our happiness. Society bombards us with the notion that perfection is the ultimate goal. We are led to believe that flaws and imperfections are weaknesses to be hidden or fixed. Not being perfect is not the issue. The issue is that we believe others aren’t; we believe they are leading perfect (or remarkably close to perfect) lives. It’s not surprising that we feel inadequate when we judge ourselves against others. “What’s wrong with me?” we question. “Everyone else seems to have everything under control. I feel like I’m the only one having trouble.” We ask ourselves questions like- “Why can’t I score full marks on this test?”, “Why am I lagging in every field, I’m a scholar, I should be perfect in everything I do.”

We all understand that no one is perfect, but even though we know this logically, we still strive to be perfect. Either we fail to notice how others are struggling or we don’t hold them to the same absurdly high standards. We have conditioned our brains to focus on what others are doing well by observing their accomplishments, talents, and apparent perfection through repetition. However, we can only see our flaws and shortcomings. Some ways can help us in embracing our imperfections and flaws: -

1. Unveiling Authenticity:

Being so preoccupied with satisfying, honing, and trying to prove ourselves makes it challenging for us to turn up genuinely. Ironically, it’s our flaws that help to make us human and relatable. We frequently establish connections with others by sharing our quirks, struggles, and insecurities. People who care about us and are genuinely interested in us don’t demand perfection from us; instead, they want us to be genuine. We can connect more deeply, to love others and be loved fully, when we embrace our imperfections and let others see the less-than-perfect parts of us. Our imperfections reveal our true selves, our unique stories, and our vulnerabilities. When we let go of the need to hide or fix our imperfections, we allow our genuine selves to shine through. Authenticity becomes a beacon that attracts meaningful connections and fosters a sense of belonging with others who appreciate and celebrate our imperfections.

2. Growth and Resilience:

Imperfections are not failures, but rather opportunities for growth and resilience. Each flaw presents a chance to learn, evolve, and become a better version of ourselves. By accepting our imperfections, we transform our setbacks into stepping stones toward personal development. We gain the courage to face our challenges, knowing that it is through these experiences that we acquire strength and resilience. Never use the word “should”. “I should perform on par with my peers,” Changing those “shoulds” into “coulds” “If I practice, I could improve a lot in a matter of months,” and “If I start right away, I could accomplish my objectives quickly.”

3. Redefining Beauty:

Beauty should not be confined to superficial appearances. Embracing imperfections allows us to redefine beauty, recognizing that true beauty lies in the richness of our character, the depth of our emotions, and the authenticity of our souls. Our flaws add texture and individuality to our physical and inner selves, transforming us into unique works of art. By celebrating these imperfections, we shift our focus from external perfection to the inner qualities that make us truly beautiful.

4. Self-Acceptance and Compassion:

We need to ignore the voice in our head that constantly tells us that we’re not good enough or that we won’t be happy until we reach some improbable status. We should try to concentrate on how we feel instead of any unattainable beauty standards: are we happy? Are we at ease?

When we embrace our imperfections, we cultivate a profound sense of self-acceptance. We acknowledge that we are imperfect beings navigating a complex world, and we grant ourselves the compassion we so readily extend to others. Self-acceptance is an act of kindness and self-love that allows us to break free from the cycle of self-criticism and negative self-talk. It creates space for self-growth, self-forgiveness, and the freedom to authentically express ourselves.

5. Resisting Societal Expectations:

Embracing imperfections is an act of rebellion against societal norms that seek to dictate who we should be and how we should look. It is a rejection of the narrow definitions of beauty and success that leave us feeling inadequate. By embracing our flaws, we challenge these expectations and create our narratives of self-worth. We become the authors of our stories, defining our standards of beauty and success.

6. The Power of Vulnerability:

Embracing imperfections requires us to embrace vulnerability. It is in our vulnerability that we find strength and connect deeply with others. When we let go of the fear of judgment and allow ourselves to be seen as we truly are.

7. Gratitude and Perspective:

Embracing imperfections requires a shift in perspective. Instead of dwelling on what we lack, we can choose to be grateful for what we have. Gratitude allows us to appreciate the beauty in our flaws and view them as blessings that contribute to our personal growth and journey. It enables us to find joy in the present moment and see the beauty that lies within us. Everyone follows a different path in life, so we are not required to follow in their footsteps. Consider how far we have come to get to where we are now as we express gratitude for what we do have.

In support of these points, in recent years, there has been an increasing focus on body positivity, mental health awareness, and self-love, which encourage individuals to accept themselves as they are, including their imperfections.

In India, various social media campaigns, influencers, and organizations have also contributed to the message of self-acceptance and embracing imperfections. These initiatives challenge societal beauty standards and promote a more inclusive and accepting culture.

NGOs (non-governmental organizations) can play a crucial role in embracing the imperfections of children and promoting their overall well-being. NGOs can offer counseling, therapy, and other forms of psychological support to children who may struggle with self-acceptance due to their imperfections. These services can help children develop resilience, boost their self-esteem, and foster a positive self-image. NGOs can work towards creating inclusive education systems that accommodate the diverse needs and abilities of all children. By advocating for inclusive policies and practices, they can help create an environment where children with imperfections are accepted, supported, and given equal opportunities to learn and grow. Such an inclusive atmosphere can be seen in Pehchaan- The Street School, where children from all backgrounds are provided with opportunities to learn and grow at the same time. NGOs like Pehchaan- The Street School create platforms for children with similar imperfections to connect and support each other. The peer group networks can provide a safe space for children to share their experiences, exchange advice, and build friendships based on mutual understanding and acceptance.

Overall, NGOs can help society embrace children’s imperfections by fostering inclusivity, promoting awareness and acceptance, providing support services, and advocating for their rights. By creating an environment that celebrates diversity, NGOs contribute to children’s holistic development and well-being, enabling them to thrive despite their imperfections.

To conclude, these unrealistically high expectations are obvious. There is no such thing as perfection: We annoy our friends. We let down our bosses and parents. We scream at our children, even at our siblings. We order pizza for the second time this week because we don’t have time to go shopping or cook. In front of our televisions, video games, and phones, we become numb. We procrastinate on our work. We make excuses to avoid some situations. We don’t sleep enough. Things are forgotten. We arrive at meetings or to our lectures late. We make poor choices.

In a world that constantly bombards us with images of perfection and encourages us to strive for flawlessness, embracing imperfections and celebrating the beauty of our flaws has become a revolutionary act of self-love. By shifting perspective and embracing our flaws, we need to cultivate a deep sense of self-love and an appreciation for the uniqueness that makes us who we are. In a world obsessed with perfection, one needs to discover that the true beauty of flaws lies in the beauty of being authentically, imperfectly, and beautifully human.